100 Questions
by InLoveWithFairyTail
Summary: Natsu, Gray, Gajeel, Laxus, Loke, Sting, and Rogue were all dragged in to answer some questions for a survey concerning...which of them is right for Lucy? "Why do you think you're right for me?" "Because I'm DAMN hot!" Rated T for swearing.
1. Chapter 1 : 1-10

**Hello! It's me again! And I know I should be updating TUCL, or My Army Boy, and Signed, Lucy...it's just that I've recently read stories with a format like this, and I came up with an idea. It's just that once I get an idea in my head...I need to write it!**

**Hope you like it!**

**NOTE: Not every question Lucy will ask will get directly answered. sometimes, they just answer with commentary, or commentary on another guy's answers.**

* * *

**1. Why do you think you're right for me?**

Natsu: Because I'm DAMN hot, awesome, and can beat the crap out of everybody I meet. I mean, look at these abs.

Gray: Ha! He's lying! Only _I _can beat the crap out of everybody I meet – shut up flamebrain, you only get to answer ONCE! Besides that, every chick likes the cold, bad boys. But I won't make any moves on you if you don't want me to.

Gajeel: Try saying that AFTER you've put on some clothes, Icy.

Gray: What the f**k? *looks down at himself*

Gajeel: As I was SAYING, I'd be the PERFECT one because I'm GAJEEL, way HOTTER than the Salamander will ever be, and I'm THE best.

Laxus: I beg to differ. I am the BEST. Period.

Loke: I shall you treat you like royalty, Lucy, my love.

Natsu: Maybe we should all beat up Loke.

Sting: I don't even KNOW why I was invited to this thing.

Rogue: No comment.

**2. Do you like soap operas?**

Natsu: Soap…operas? What the f*** is that? Something to do with personal hygiene, or whatever?

Gray: No, idiot! They're melodramatic shows on television.

Gajeel: Dude…it's a little scary how you KNOW that.

Laxus: No, I don't like them. Period.

Loke: No, but I'm willing to like them if you LOVE them, Lucy!

Natsu: Seriously, you guys…just one punch could finish him.

Sting: Hell yeah! Those kinds of things are awesome!

Rogue: What the f*** are you DOING when I'm not with you?

**3. On dates to the movie theatres, would you choose the movie I want, or the one you want?**

Natsu: Uh, DUH, the one I want. I'm NOT watching any romance movies…whatever the hell those are.

Gray: The one you want? I guess…but I'd rather watch ACTION movies – and that'd be awesome if those are the kinds you would choose. Romance movies are films concerning LOVE, idiot.

Gajeel: Stop voicing your girly knowledge of girly things, Ice Princess. And I bet that bunny-girl likes chick flicks.

Laxus: I can't stand the movie theatres! So, NEITHER movie would be chosen. Period.

Loke: Anything you want my lo-

Natsu: *punches him* There. You're welcome, everybody.

Sting: The one I want.

Rogue: I don't care. I won't be paying attention to the film anyways.

Sting: That's going to hurt your chances with her.

Rogue: I didn't even f***ing want to be here.

**4. On Valentines' Day, what would you give me? Chocolates or flowers?**

Natsu: Chocolates. They're WAY tastier than those allergy-inducing plants will ever be. Not that I've ever EATEN flowers…heh heh. *proceeds to have flashback*

Gray: You'd probably end up destroying the flowers, and eating the chocolates, stupid.

Gajeel: You know what? I'd give you neither. IRON is the way to go for EVERY present.

Laxus: Gajeel…you are officially shunned from every birthday party of mine's.

Loke: BOTH!

Natsu: What the f***? How did he recover so quickly?

Loke: Your punch was weak.

Natsu: Wanna say that AGAIN, Lover Boy?

Loke: Hell yeah! YOUR PUNCH WAS WEAK!

Natsu: Oh, hell no! ROAR OF THE-

Sting: This is the girliest thing I've done… EVER.

Rogue: And I suppose the fact that you watch soap operas doesn't count?

**5. If another guy was hitting on me, what would you do?**

Natsu: HIT him back! Yeah!

Gray: That…was not what she meant.

Juvia: How do you know what she meant, GRAY-SAMA!? Have you hit on LUCY!?

Gray: What the f*** are you doing here, Juvia!?

Juvia: It's not that hard to follow you, Gray-sama.

Gray: What the FU-

Gajeel: Grab your hand and say, 'I'm her f***ing boyfriend, you asshole. You wanna do something abou t it?' And then I'd start making out with y-

Laxus: Who ACTUALLY expected that answer to come from Gajeel sooner or later? I did. Because I'm awesome. Period.

Loke: You know…you didn't really answer the question Laxus.

Laxus: Does it matter?

Loke: I'd sweep you away like Robin Hood swept away…uh, what was that girl's name? Lady Marion?

Natsu: Now he's quoting Shakespeare!

Gray: That ain't Shakespeare you f***ing idiot!

Natsu: Seriously…then Mark Twain?

Gray: Your head is full of crap.

Natsu: At least mine's not empty like yours.

Sting: I'm with Natsu-san! HIT HIM BACK!

Natsu: At least SOMEONE here agrees with me.

Gray: Whoever agrees with Natsu is also a moron.

Sting: You did NOT just insult someone with mighty awesome dragon powers.

Gray: I insult Natsu all the time…wait a f***ing minute.

Natsu: You just called my powers AWESOME and MIGHTY!

Rogue: Remain indifferent, stare at him, and wait until he starts freaking out.

Sting: Would that actually work?

Rogue: *stares at Sting*

**6. Do you think I'm pretty?**

Natsu: Uh…that depends…like first thing in the morning, do you look pretty? Or later in the evening, do you look pretty? Because if it's in the morning, you pretty much look like sh*t.

Gray: How do you even know what she looks like in the morning?

Natsu: I sleep over sometimes.

Gajeel: If that's the truth, why are we even having this f***ing stupid SURVEY!?

Laxus: You're blonde. I'm blonde. So, yes, you are pretty.

Loke: You are like the beautiful flower which stands out in a field of a million other flowers.

Natsu: The things you say are so ridiculously stupid, and cheesy that I feel like barfing out your face.

Loke: It must be very handsome vomit then.

Natsu: You wish.

Sting: Nah. You're not pretty.

Rogue: That was a pretty simplistic answer for a complex question.

Sting: It was complex? Seemed easy enough to ask. Watch, 'Do you think I'm pretty?'

Rogue: Never mind.

**7. Do you think I'm fat?**

Natsu: Hahahahahaha! Yes.

Happy: Let's all admit it…Lucy takes up WAY more space than she needs to.

Gray: You're all going to be murdered later.

Natsu: Later. Right now, it's worth making fun of her.

Gray: ….You're right.

Gajeel: Anyone who has a f***ing tubful of candy in their room has GOT to be fat.

Laxus: Seriously? She has that much?

Gajeel: Yep.

Natsu: You've been to her room?

Gajeel: No comment.

Laxus: Based on what I've heard, yes, you are fat.

Loke: Um….no, you are not.

Natsu: Took you a while to answer.

Loke: Unlike all of you, I'm going to be the only one who's gonna be ALIVE four hours from now.

Laxus: This sh*t's gonna take four hours to finish?

Sting: Ah, crap. F***!

Rogue: What's the matter? Had a soap opera you planned to be watching tonight?

Sting: Kiss my ass, Rogue.

**8. If we lived together, would you make the dinner sometimes, or would I ALWAYS make it?**

Natsu: Hold your f***ing horses, LUCY knows how to COOK?!

Gray: Mindf*ck.

Gajeel: I know right?

Laxus: Everyone knows how to cook. It's just that some seriously, f***ing suck. I'm guessing Lucy's food is like a bunch of sh*t on a plate.

Loke: I bet it's…DEEEEE-licious

Natsu: Hesitated for a moment, there, didn't you, Loke?

Loke: Hahahaha, shut the f*** up, Natsu.

Sting: I've had enough of MINERVA'S cooking to spot a person who can't cook for sh*t. Forget the crap, Lucy's probably gonna be serving a whole load of things from the garbage can.

Rogue: You've eaten Minerva's cooking?

Sting: Haven't you? We were invited to her place, once, remember?

Rogue: Dude, the stuff was an abnormal green. I got rid of it once her back was turned.

Sting: Wait…what did she give us?

Rogue: Spaghetti…supposedly.

Sting: What the hell!? I thought it was SALAD!

**9. Would you give me surprise gifts like bouquets or necklaces?**

Natsu: Does it LOOK like I have the Jewels for that?

Gray: How about I give you an ICE flower? Eh? Eh? It'll melt…but you know…make the time when you have it worthwhile.

Juvia: WHY DOESN'T JUVIA GET GIFTS FROM GRAY-SAMA THEN!?

Gray: Oh, f***.

Gajeel: How about a car muffler? That's kind of like jewelry, yeah?

Laxus: No. I will not get you stuff like that. Period.

Loke: No. Love is not shown by substantial materials…but by strong, intense feelings and emotions.

Gray: I understand why you want to mug him, Natsu.

Sting: Hahahahaha, get her stuff! This chick is FUN-ny!

Rogue: She wasn't joking.

Sting: Seriously? Get her presents and stuff occasionally? Doesn't sound like something STING EUCLIFFE would do.

Rogue: Neither did watching soap operas…but you know…you watch 'em, so…

Sting: Shut the f*** up, Rogue.

**10. Based on your answers so far, do you think you're succeeding in this survey?**

Natsu: What the f*** was this for again?

Gray: Uh…to date…Erza?

Gajeel: Oh, you would love that, wouldn't you, Icy?

Juvia: GAJEEL!

Gajeel: Don't get your panties into a twist, Juvia.

Loke: This was a survey to date Lucy you guys! You've been answering all the questions so far, and you can't even remember!?

Natsu: Ah…right…NOW I do.

Gray: Once the answer's been given to you, you do.

Natsu: You couldn't remember, either, Ice Princess.

Laxus: Of course I'm succeeding. I'm Laxus. Period.

Loke: Why do you keep on saying 'period' so much?

Laxus: Fine, Fruit Hair. Of course I'm succeeding. I'm Laxus. End of discussion.

Loke: That means the same thing.

Laxus: You're ASKING to be punched.

Natsu: He's been asking for it this WHOLE time!

Sting: How many say that we should beat this guy up?

Rogue: Not interested.

Sting: You're never interested in anything, are you?

Rogue: Not true. I'm interested to hear why you like soap operas so much.

Sting: F*** you, Rogue, f*** you.

* * *

**So how was it? Only ninety more to go!**

**Thank you for reading and please review!**

**And for those of you who are wondering: **

**This is the order of my stories that I will update:**

**Signed, Lucy**

**100 Questions**

**My Army Boy**

**That Unrequited Childhood Love**

**Thank you again!**


	2. Chapter 2: 11- 20

**I'm sorry I took a while to update! I've been busy with some things, and I did not update for two days even though I planned to update this story, then My Army Boy, and then That Unrequited Childhood Love ASAP!**

**Well...I'm back! And here's the second chapter of 100 Questions!**

**I promise I'll try to update MAB AS QUICKLY AS IT IS POSSIBLE!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.**

* * *

**11. Would you watch **_**Fiore Idol **_**with me?**

Natsu: What the f*** is that? Can these questions be about something that I actually know?

Gray: So then, the question would sound something like, 'How does it feel to be an idiot who says moronic things everyday?'

Natsu: Well, actually, it feels…wait a f***ing minute! I am NOT an idiot!

Gray: You were actually going to answer!? Wow, just when I thought you couldn't get any stupider.

Natsu: BRING IT ON, ICE PRINCESS!

Gray: Yeah? I'LL ICE MAKE YOUR ASS!

Natsu: Ah, c'mon Gray, leave your fetishes to your private, gross, personal world. If making people's asses out of ice is what you like to do…you're one f***ing messed up person.

Gray: Kiss my f***ing ass, Natsu.

Natsu: What is with you and your obsession with asses?

Gajeel: Fiore Idol? HA! I would be ON that show! Watch. Shoo-bee-do-ba!

Gray and Natsu: Not this sh*t again.

Laxus: Gajeel lies. I, LAXUS DREYAR, would be on that show! *takes out electric guitar and proceeds to sing a bunch of gibberish*

Loke: I don't know what that is, but I'm willing to learn what it is if you love it, Lucy.

Natsu: You don't know what the show is, or you don't know what the f*** Laxus is trying to sing?

Laxus: Natsu!

Natsu: Truth hurts, pal.

Sting: I LOVE Fiore Idol. Last week, this b*tch I hated got eliminated. I was so f***ing happy.

Rogue: You watch that, too? When? After your soap operas are done, and you're finished crying over them?

Sting: There's no shame in crying over soap operas. Their plots are so emotional, feeling, and deep that you just-!

Rogue: Just…f***ing….stop.

**12. Would you watch **_**Fiore's Got Talent **_**with me?**

Natsu: NOW we're talkin'. I love seeing the people who mess up….mess up.

Gray: I wouldn't watch T.V. much. I'd rather go to the gym and harden my abs…for you to look at.

Juvia: GRAY-SAMA LOVES LUCY-SAN! JUVIA KNEW IT! JUVIA KNEW IT!

Gray: I never f***ing said that! This survey is purely hypothetical!

Natsu: What the f*** does 'hypothetical' mean?

Gajeel: Again, I would be on that show! Gajeel's got talent that should be SHOWN to the whole, entire world.

Laxus: No. I would be on that show, yet again.

Gajeel: Yeah? And what would you do on it?

Laxus: Actually, I'm very good at ballet-

Everyone: SAY WHAT!?

Laxus: Got a problem with it?

Rogue: Nah. With how things are going, Sting's probably into ballet, as well.

Sting: I am NOT! Hip hop and break dancing are more of my thing.

Loke: I would watch everything with you, Lucy!

Natsu: *kicks Loke, everyone stares at him* Oh, come ON, he had it COMING. He should be eliminated from this thing.

Sting: Natsu would be on Fiore's Got Talent for beating the crap out of people.

Rogue: Sting would be on Fiore's Got Talent for the record of the most watched soap operas in a row.

Sting: *points at door* You didn't even want to be here. Get the f***out, Rogue.

Rogue: *waves Sting off dismissively* Nah. I'll stay.

**13. Would you hog the T.V.?**

Rogue: Do I have to say it?

Natsu: HEY! I'M SUPPOSED TO GO FIR-

Sting: Shut UP, Rogue.

Rogue: Sting would apparently hog the T.V. since he-

Sting: ROGUE, I WILL TAKE YOU DOWN WITH MY WHITE DRAGON'S ROAR!

Rogue: …would be watching soap opera marathons.

Sting: ROGUE! *fights with his partner*

Natsu: Like I was saying, I'm SUPPOSED to-

Gray: Like I said, I would be going to the gym to acquire some muscles for you.

Juvia: *crying* GRAY-SAMA!

Gray: What the FU-

Natsu: Hold on! My turn was supposed to be-

Gajeel: HOG the T.V.?! I would be ON T.V!

Natsu: Hey, METAL FACE, I-

Laxus: For the LAST time, I would be the one on T.V.! I mean, look at me. *smiles and raises an eyebrow at no one in particular*

Gajeel: What are you doing smiling at nothing?

Laxus: If there were girls in front of me, they would all have nosebleeds right now. If LUCY could see me right now, she'd be choosing me.

Gajeel: Che.

Natsu: HEY, MY TURN'S SUPPOSED TO BE-!

Loke: Well, I would not do such a thi-

Natsu: *rams his elbow into Loke's face* All right! My turn! My time to shi-

**14. If you had complimented my hair when we first met, what would you have said?**

Natsu: WHAT THE HELL!? I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO ANSWER THE LAST QUESTION!

Gray: Is that your final answer?

Natsu: What? No! Uh, I would have said…you must…be really good at brushing your hair…Luigi.

Gray: Uh…That's some FINE hair you have! It must be a…parking…ticket?

Gajeel: HAHAHAHA! That's the lamest thing I've ever heard!

Gray: Then what would YOU have said?

Gajeel: Your hair is like the sunlight that streams into my room on a fine summer morning.

Gray and Natsu: What the f***? Gajeel is poetic?

Gajeel: Hell yeah! I DOMINATED this question!

Laxus: I would have said, "Hey, babe. Love the color of your hair. It's the same color as mine."

Loke: How egotistic can you get?

Laxus: If you think you're SO good, Orangey, try to beat Gaj's simile.

Loke: Uh…your hair is like the…most expensive piece of gold I have ever seen.

Natsu: For a moment there, I thought he was going to say 'piece of crap'.

Gray: Same here.

Sting: Uh…I got nothing.

Rogue: You would think you would AT LEAST have something…since you spend your free time watching, quote, unquote "emotional, feeling, and deep" shows.

Sting: All right. For one moment, can you just shut your f***ing trap about my GREAT LOVE OF CULTURAL DRAMAS!?

Rogue: Fine. So…did you vote in for last week's episode of Fiore Idol?

Sting: Can I just f***ing leave?

**15. Would you do household chores like cleaning and doing laundry for me sometimes?**

Natsu: Chores? What are these 'chores' you speak of?

Gray: Chores are 'jobs' you do to clean a place up, and to keep it in order.

Natsu: How do you know, Icy?

Gray: Ur made me do 'em.

Natsu: So…while you were her student…you were also kind of her slave?

Gray: NO! SHE DID CHORES TOO!

Natsu: I see…

Gray: You don't, do you?

Natsu: Not really.

Gray: I'll wash dishes, take out the trash, but if you try to make me mop the floors, you got another thing comin'.

Juvia: YOU SOUND LIKE THE PERFECT HUSBAND!

Gray: STAY AWAY!

Gajeel: CHORES? You expect the GREAT GAJEEL to do chores?

Laxus: That isn't the question at hand here. It's, 'YOU EXPECT THE AWESOME, SUPER-TALENTED, and UTTERLY HANDSOME, NOSEBLEED-INDUCING, LIGHTNING DRAGON SLAYER LAXUS DREYAR – hey, ladies – TO DO CHORES!?

Loke: According to Master, he used to make you finish chores before you got to do anything else.

Laxus: Used to…and I can SO imagine you wearing a frilly apron, and dusting vases right now.

Loke: Loke does NOT do aprons.

Natsu: I heard that Luce LOVES guys who can put on an apron without complaint.

Loke: Aprons, it is, then. But no pink. That color does NOT do any good for my skin tone.

Gray: If I punched you in the face…would that effectively make you shut up?

Sting: Nah. Chores are too bothersome.

Rogue: *nods in agreement* ESPECIALLY when it gets in the way of you and your soap operas.

Sting: SHUT UP ABOUT THAT ALREADY!

Rogue: Not until I get something new to make jokes about.

**16. Do you think I should wear make-up on our dates?**

Natsu: Make…up? Why? Your natural self is beautiful, already, aren't you?

Gray: That was so un-Natsu-like that I don't even know how to insult you.

Natsu: Huh?

Gray: Now THAT'S more like it, stupid.

Natsu: You wanna go?

Gray: Let's go!

Natsu: Only if you promise not to try to kiss my ass, or whatever.

Gray: ….no….f***ing…comment.

Natsu: Cuz you know that's what you were going to try to do!

Gray: Ice make!

Natsu: MY ASS!

Gray: CANNON!

Natsu: ROAR OF THE FIRE DRAGON!

Gajeel: Make-up? Make up is reserved for the famous people, like…le me.

Laxus: Che! Make up? MAKE UP!? Laxus Dreyar would never need such a thing to be on the faces of people he knows.

Loke: Aw, that's actually kind of sweet Laxus.

Laxus: I mean, my HOTNESS would totally cover up any ugliness any of you might have, so…I'm BETTER than make-up!

Loke: Ha…never mind.

Natsu: Anybody surprised Loke didn't answer this question?

Loke: You need not the artificial mask of make-up to disguise the beauty you already hold in your own facial features, Lucy, my beautiful love!

Natsu: Ha…never mind.

Sting: Nah, I think make-up is unnecessary.

Rogue: Really, now?

Sting: So, uh, Rogue, I heard that you used to try on make-up sold at the department stores when you were smaller?

Rogue: You're probably confusing that with your own memories of doing that.

Sting: …

Rogue: No…f***ing…way…

**17. What do you think about our couple name? **(A/N: couple name being NaLu, Gralu, Lalu, etc.)

Natsu: Notice how half of NaLu has the first two letters of my name. That proves how awesome it is.

Gray: Or how stupid it is.

Natsu: Shut up, Gray. At least I'm not the one trying to kiss other people's asses.

Gray: Oi! Shut up!

Natsu: GraLu sounds so…

Gray: Awesome?

Natsu: I was going for 'unsophisticated'.

Gray: Based on what I know about your brain, you probably don't even know what 'unsophisticated' means.

Gajeel: Says the guy who always ends up naked somehow.

Laxus: LaLu. How could that get any better?

Loke: THERE you go, Laxus. NOW you're starting to take this thing seri-

Laxus: Of course, if you eliminated the 'Lu' and it was only 'Laxus'…now that…that is some f***ing masterpiece.

Loke: Then it wouldn't be a couple name!

Laxus: Was that what we were talking about?

Natsu: LoLu sounds like crap.

Loke: Shut up, Natsu!

Natsu: LOW…LU! LOOOOOOWWWW….LUUUUU!

Loke: Thanks for shipping us!

Natsu: I'm not shipping anybody! I get motion sickness, remember?

Loke: *facepalm* Uh, never mind.

Sting: How come mine is the only one that uses the last part of that chick's name?

Rogue: I don't know, Sting…Sticy is an awesome couple name.

Sting: Really?

Rogue: *smiles* Sounds like something used in a soap opera.

Sting: F*** you.

Natsu: HAHAHAH! RoLu! Roll Lu! Roll Lucy down a hill!

Gray: Only you would find that funny, stupid face.

Natsu: You have the skill to insult like a five-year-old.

**18. Would you go grocery shopping with me?**

Natsu: First of all, what is grocery? Second of all, what is shopping?

Gray: This survey is way too complicated for you.

Gajeel: Hahahahah! Grocery…shopping! That was a f***ing funny question!

Loke: It wasn't supposed to-

Gajeel: *punches Loke*

Natsu: THANK YOU! Now he won't be able to answer this question!

Gray: You haven't been answering them, either, idiot.

Natsu: You haven't either! Too busy with all those asses to kiss, huh?

Gray: Come over here!

Natsu: NOOOO! MY ass is fine without your kisses!

Gray: I'll shove your stupid face up your ass!

Natsu: There you go, again! Now your new thing is shoving stuff up other people's butts?

Gajeel: It's f***ing funny how you guys can hold a conversation about asses for so long.

Natsu and Gray: It's amazing how you can add something to a conversation about asses.

Laxus: Speaking off asses…

Loke: Oh, hell no. Laxus, please don't.

Laxus: Mine is pretty sexy, don't ya think?

Natsu: Aw gross! Who would look there, anyways?!

Sting: WHAT ARE YOU DOING LAXUS-SAN!?

Laxus: Putting on some tights to show off my fine ass!

Rogue: Please tell me I didn't just f***ing HEAR that.

Gray: MY EYES!

Loke: MY GLASSES! YOU'VE TURNED THEM TO ASHES!

Natsu: AAAAAHHHHH!

Laxus: That's it! I'm beating the crap out of all of you guys!

Gajeel: This has gone a long way off from groceries.

**19. Would you lend me Jewels so I can go shopping?**

Everyone: Your standards for the right guy must be outrageous.

**20. Are you good with fixing cars, sinks, and the like?**

Natsu: Sure!

Gray: Natsu, you've probably broken and destroyed most of those things more than you've fixed them.

Gajeel: Within a month of moving in together, he'll probably burn down your whole house.

Laxus: Ain't that true?

Loke: Remember that time he destroyed that whole town?

Sting: He destroyed the hotel we were staying at during the GMG.

Rogue: I remember that. He made a f***ing huge hole in our wall and just left.

Natsu: Like a boss.

Everyone else: Riiiiight.

* * *

**Hope you liked it! Now to get working on My Army Boy!**

**And for those of you who are tapping their feet impatiently for TUCL, I've got it all planned out! Just need to type it!**

**My mission: To update my stories!**


	3. Chapter 3: 21-30

**Hello, people! It's been a long time since I updated this story! It was because whenever I sat down to write it, I found myself with writer's block, and I couldn't come up with any jokes...**

**Well, hope you like this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Fairy Tail!**

* * *

**21. What would our first date be like?**

Natsu: Ha! That's an easy one…once someone tells me what a 'date' is…

Gray: Pssh! Are you an idiot, or are you an idiot? A 'date' is that shriveled up fruit thingy!

Gajeel: You're wrong, No-Pants!

Gray: Huh? Oh crap!  
Gajeel: A date is one of those things on the calendar!

Natsu: What's a calendar?

Gray: Do you just live out your life without any regard to what day it is you're living?

Natsu: Who needs to check the day when you can spend that time doing useful? LIKE EATING?!

Happy: Ha! Nice one, Natsu! Although you should have squeezed the word 'fish' somewhere in that answer…

Gajeel: Hey, we're allowed to bring our Exceeds here!? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME!? LILY!

Laxus: This is why…I am a dog person.

Sting: Where did Gajeel-san go?

Rogue: He went to get his cat.

Loke: Hey…our date would depend on your happine-

Natsu: Hold on. Shut up, Loke. We're trying to get Gajeel back here.

Loke: I think you should all be eliminated from this show.

Gray: Anyone feel like Lucy's not going to let any one of us out here alive?

Everyone but Loke: Yep.

Loke: My Lucy is the kindest being alive! Besides, you know I'm going to be alive. I'm the only one here saying anything NICE.

Natsu: Lucy might let you leave alive…but we won't.

**22. What would you name our kid if she was a girl? (**credit for this** question **goes to** me ga mawaru) **

Natsu: Natsuki.

Gray: Gray – a – lina.

Gajeel: Gajette.

Laxus: Laxus.

Loke: That's not a girl's name!

Laxus: Of course it isn't! DO YOU THINK THE – THE WITH AN UNDERLINED T- H-E – LAXUS WOULD SHARE HIS NAME WITH A GIRL?!

Natsu: You know…that actually does sound like a pretty name for a girl…but I doubt she would be hot-

*Natsu and Laxus proceed to have a fight*

Loke: ….

Loke: Anyways, I would name her Lucille.

Natsu: You'd name your daughter after a SEAL – as in, the ANIMAL?!

Loke: I feel no need to explain something to an idiot like you.

Natsu: It's probably because you can't find the words to explain it.

Sting: Stingarina.

Rogue: Trust Sting on this question. The master of soap operas should be the master of girl names. Although I suspected he would say something more along the lines of Betty, or Karen….

Sting: Che! Those names are so overused when I watch my dramas – sh*t.

Rogue: Just when I thought I was running out of insults, my Muse, the one and only Sting Eucliffe, arrives.

**23. What would you name our kid if it was a guy? (**credit for this** question **goes to** me ga mawaru)**

Natsu: Natsu

Gray: Gray

Gajeel: Gajeel

Laxus: Laxus

Loke: Lucas

Sting: Sting

Rogue: …Fro.

(A/N: I JUST discovered Fro is a GUY…)

**24. How many kids would you like to have? (**credit for this** question **goes to **me ga mawaru)**

Everyone but Laxus: Could we get back to you on that?

Laxus (who is being totally off topic here): If I had a son, I would take him to the lake and have a long, meaningful talk with him while my sweater is slung over my shoulder…

Rogue: I think Laxus – san has indulged in soap operas as well…

Sting: *is crying* This reminds me of that one episode where – where –

Rogue: *writing*

Sting: What are you doing?

Rogue: Asking our guild's master if I can have a new partner. I've been thinking it's a good idea ever since this survey started.

Fro: Fro thinks so too.

**25. Would you remember our wedding anniversary?**

Natsu: Yeah! Once I learn what an anniversary is…

Gray: Don't bother. You can barely remember the days of the week.

Natsu: I can too! Today is…um…uh…Saturrrr - Thurrrsss – Monnnn – Sunnnn…?"

Gray: It's Friday, stupid.

Natsu: Friday! It's Friday!

Gajeel: That reminds me of that one song…

Gray: What song?

Gajeel: Hold on…I'm trying to remember.

Laxus: I will remember…after you remind me….

Sting: Well, I think the whole husband-forgets-the-wedding-anniversary-but-wife-r emembers is cliché, so I would remember….just to prove those television shows WRONG!

Rogue: Sting Eucliffe, everybody, with a masters degree in Television Dramas Specialization.

Loke: Well, for our anniversary, I'd –

Gajeel: I remember the song now! A one, a two, a one, two, three, four…Shoo-be-doo-ba, it's Friday, Friday, shoo-be-doo-ba!~

Natsu: Ah, crap! Freeze my ears over, Gray! Freeze 'em over!

Gray: Every man for himself! *freezes his head*

Natsu: *starts slamming his fists against the block of ice Gray has now frozen his head into* NO! NO! DON'T LEAVE ME OUT HERE!

Gajeel: SHUT UP SALAMANDER! I'M TRYIN' TO SING!

Natsu: Well, you should try harder, because-

Laxus: ADFJBJTB OERJNTRN!~ (he is singing)

Natsu (to Gajeel): SEE WHAT YOU'VE STARTED?!

**26. Would you let me get a pink car?**

Natsu: Ah ha, ah ha…it is SO funny how you just automatically assume that we'll have enough Jewels for a car….

Gray: That sentence had a lot of big words. *knocks on Natsu's head* All right in there, peanut brain that unfortunately belongs to Natsu?

Natsu: YOU PIECE OF SH*T, GRAY!

*Natsu and Gray start to fight as Gajeel proceeds to answer the question*

Gajeel: Ah, well…no. The color for our car would be black…or no deal.

Laxus: That depends…if the car's pink, can we get one of those monster trucks?

Rogue: AWWWW, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE OF THOSE!

Sting: Seriously?

Rogue: Yeah, gotta problem with it?

Loke: Well-

Everyone Else: SHUT UP LOKE!

Loke: But I have a right to answer!

Natsu: Why do you want to? It's obvious you're going to say something really dopey like 'I want whatever you want, my sweet!"

Gray: Or "If that's what you desire, then yes!"

Gajeel: Or probably something along the lines of, "If a pink car makes you happy, I'm happy…"

Laxus: Or, or, ORRRRRR he'll SAY, "Laxus is the coolest guy in the world…"

*everyone looks at him, amazed that he can make every off topic sentence about him*

*Laxus looks at Loke, expecting him to say the statement*

Loke: No. I will not say that, Laxus.

Laxus: It's okay. It's normal for people to deny marvelous facts at first.

Natsu: It's also very common in egotistic people to find that what they think are facts are actually fictional statements.

Gray: Seriously, Natsu, keep using big words like that and you're going to malfunction. Not that you haven't been malfunctioning all your life…

Natsu: Mal…function…I'll decide if that's an insult right after I look that word up in a dictionary…

Sting: You've seriously wanted a monster truck? You? The uninterested, poker-faced Rogue?

Rogue: Yeah…? What? It's manlier than you sitting on a couch with your hair in rollers, eating popcorn, and watching Fiore Idol.

Sting: So you'll just drive out on the _narrow_, cobbled street of Magnolia, screaming at the top of your lungs while you drive your big ass monster truck down a road, flattening every car in front of you?

Rogue: …

Sting: Is this what you fantasize about!?

Rogue: …

Sting: I…am at a loss for words.

Rogue: So was I when I found out about your love for soap operas, but you don't see me going on and on about it.

Sting: ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME?! HAVE YOU BEEN UNDER A ROCK THROUGHTOUT THE INSULTS YOU'VE SAID TO ME!?

*Rogue takes a rock about the size of his hand and places it on his head*

Rogue: Yes.

Natsu: FOUND IT! Malfunction means…awww man! They use a lot of big words in the definition, too!

**27. Will you please compose a one-lined poem about my eyes right now?**

Natsu: Oh, Lucy, your eyes are…brown…like sh*t. There. I made a poem.

Gray: That's the…AWESOMEST POEM I'VE EVER HEARD OF! Honestly, flamebrain, this is the first time I can't call you an idiot…

Natsu: HA!

Gray: Okay, now my turn…Uh…Lucy…you have eyes…they're on your face…and they…help you…to see…

Juvia: *sobs* That's…GRAY-SAMA IS A POETIC GENIUS!

Gray: Wait, agh, Juvia, you're getting snot all over my arm!

Gajeel: All right…here I go…Eyes like chocolate…melts when she smiles…her warm, hot smile….

Natsu and Gray: Hahahahaha! That was definitely lamer than ours! Hahahaha!

Natsu: Oh, Gray, do you smell something sh*tty?

Gray: Uh, yeah…it's Gajeel's poem!

Natsu and Gray: HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Gajeel: That's ITTTT!

*the three commence in a manly war of manliness that would have made the manly Elfman at a loss for words (A/N: I don't know…that was kinda random…)*

Laxus: Ahem…Laxus likes your eyes.

Loke: What the heck…was that?

Laxus: The shortest, most epic poem ever…wrapped in a super thick layer of awesomeness.

Loke: Okay~

Loke: Anyways…Oh my darling, oh my sweet, your eyes are like the chocolate that is sent to me on Valentine's Day, your eyes are like the hot cocoa that brings comfort on winter nights, and they warm me like the cup of hot chocolate given during a particularly cold snowy day….

Everyone: ….

Sting: Anyways-

Loke: Wait, no one's gonna even compliment me on that?

Natsu: *is scratching the inside of his right ear with his pinky* Huh? Compliment you on what?

Gray: *in the midst of scratching his pectorals* Hmm? You say somethin', Loke?

Laxus: Laxus likes your eyes…Dang…why don't I write these things down?

Gajeel: Shoo-be-doo-ba!

Sting: He cut me off. That orange haired jerk actually cut me off!

Rogue: Vroom. Vroom. Rogue Cheney, hardcore monster truck driver, making his way onto the scene.

Loke: Are you kidding?! None of you heard my poem?

Natsu: Well, you can't blame us…that was a pretty long sentence…are you sure it wasn't one of those sprint-ons?

Gray: It's called a run-on sentence, stupid.

Natsu: Shut up, Ice Princess!

*they continue to bicker, which drown out Loke's rage*

Sting: Uh…Brown…like dirt…and stuff…there…

Rogue: *mimicking the sound of a car engine* BEEEEEH! BEEEEH! You eyes are like the mud I drive my super cool, super awesome monster truck through!

Sting: If he doesn't return to normal by the end of this survey, you guys gotta help me snap him out of it. If Yukino finds him like this, she'll blame me and-

Yukino: Blame what on you?

Sting: WHY ARE YOU HERE!?

**28. If we were to go into a café and you ordered a slice of cake, would you offer me half of it?**

Natsu: No. That's why you got your own order, AM I RIGHT HAPPY!?

Happy: I'M WITH YA NATSU!

Carla: I think sharing is nice…and may I remind you 'ya' is not a word?

Happy: I'M WITH YOU CARLA! SHARING IS NIIIICEEEEE!

Natsu: What is this BETRAYAL?! This is why girls STINK!

Loke: Girls are things to be cherished-

Yukino: Excuse me, but we are not 'things'!

Gray: Not to mention that you're on a survey that determines whether you date a girl or not…

Natsu: You never got back to me about the definition of that whole date thingy…

Gajeel: Like I told you-

Gray: NO! My answer is OBVIOUSLY RIGHT!

Loke: A DATE is where you go with a girl some place and be all lovey-dovey with them!

Natsu: AGH! SERIOUSLY?! GRAY, YOU STUPID! YOU GAVE ME THE WRONG ANSWER!  
Gray: IRON FACE DID TOO!

Gajeel: I'M VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT MY FACE! JUST BECAUSE I HAVE PIERCINGS DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T HAVE FEELINGS!

Everyone: THEN WHY'D YOU GET THE PIERCINGS IN THE FIRST PLACE?!

Gajeel: I mean…'cause they're cool, ya know….

Carla: For the last time, 'Ya' is not a word!

Happy: Yeah, Gajeel, so use proper English, will ya – I mean, you?

Natsu: I thought we were all speaking in Japanese.

Everyone: Right.

Laxus: Laxus gets the whole thing. No sharing. Nobody touches Laxus's food.

Loke: You're like a territorial dog.

Laxus: Excuse me? Did you just call me a dog? Did you just call me a b*tch?!

Loke: What!? No!

Sting: It's amazing how a question about cake can result into something like this, huh, Rogue?

Rogue: Vroom! And Rogue Cheney does the best stunts so FAR! He could very well be the winner, ladies and gentlemen!

Yukino: Sting, what'd you do to Rogue?!

Sting: NOTHING!

**29. Would you attend a book club meeting with me?**

Natsu: Book…club. THERE ARE SUCH THINGS?! I THOUGHT THEY WERE JUST MYTHS!

Gray: I bet you've never read a book in your whole life.

Natsu: Have too!

Gray: Yeah? And what was that?

Natsu: The Harry Jackson Series of Unfortunate Chronicles of Narnia.*

Gray: What the fu-

Gajeel: I've read books on metal, and iron…and piercings…also a book on tattoos…but that was just for some light reading.

Laxus: I'm waiting for the biography of Laxus Dreyar to come out….that's when I'll have read a book.

Loke: I think a book like that is ever gonna come out.

Natsu: Hahaha! If there was a book like that…there'd only be one sentence…'Laxus is less awesome than Natsu Dragneel'! Ahahahaha!

Laxus: *punches Natsu*

Natsu: Ah…ha….ha…ha

Juvia: JUVIA WOULD READ A BIOGRAPHY OF GRAY FULLBUSTER! NO! JUVIA SHALL WRITE IT!

Gray: I really don't need-

Juvia: Chapter One: Gray-sama saves the damsel in distress, Juvia Lockser.

Gray: Wait – what? What kind of messed up biography of my life is that?!

Sting: Uhhh…I've read...uhhhh….

Rogue: Vroom. Novels. Vroom. Based. Vroom. On. Vroom. Soap. Vroom. Operas. Vroom. Is. Vroom. What. Vroom. Sting. Vroom. Reads. VROOOM!

Sting: Oh yeah? Then whaddya read?

Rogue: Books. Vroom. On. Vroom. MONSTER TRUCKS! BEEEEH! BEEEEH!

Juvia: Chapter Two: Gray-sama falls inlove with the damsel in distress, JUVIA LOCKSER!

Gray: Wai-

Natsu: OOOOOH! DO MY BIOGRAPHY NEXT!

Juvia: Gladly. Wait…Chapter Three: Gray-Sama and Juvia Lockser Kiss!

Gray: WHAT ARE YOU-

Juvia: Natsu-san's…Chapter One: Natsu Dates Lucy So that Lucy Will Stop Being Juvia's Love Rival And This Fight For Gray – sama's Love Will End Between Lucy And Juvia!

Everyone: ….

**30. What will our first kiss be like?**

Natsu: *starts to panic* Nobody told me there was going to be KISSING in this!

Happy: EW! KISSING!

Carla: Hello, Happy.

Happy: YAY! KISSING!

Gray: Well, I-

Juvia: JUVIA WILL SHOW WHAT A FIRST KISS IS LIKE TO GRAY-SAMA HERSELF!

Gray: AHHHHH!

Gajeel: Well-  
Loke: PLEASE, nobody let Gajeel go into detail with this question…

Laxus: It would be awesome, I mean…because I'm Laxus, and all…

Loke: It would be a sweet thing that-

Sting: Well, I've watched tons of soap operas-

Rogue: VROOM! HAHAHA! VROOM!

Sting: I…Laxus-san! Why did you HAVE to mention monster trucks!?

Laxus: Laxus-san SAYS what he wants to SAYS

Carla: SAY, it's SAY.

Happy: Yeah, learn some proper English, or Japanese, La-

*trails off when Laxus glares at him*

Happy: Oh my…did I just hear Mira calling to me that fishing time draws near!? Well, my friends, it is with sorrow that I say I shall have to leave…

Carla: Happy…you're not going to at least fight back?

Happy: Where are my boxing gloves, Natsu? Let's go, La-

*Laxus glares at him again*

Happy: The fish get sad when I'm not on time.

Everyone: Riiiiiiight.

* * *

*** The Harry Jackson Series of Unfortunate Chronicles of Narnia - just a combination of some famous books: Harry Potter, The Percy Jackson Series, The Series of Unfortunate Events, and the Chronicles of Narnia...**

**Disclaimer: I Do NOT Own those books listed above!**

**IMPORTANT: So, I've found it a little difficult to think up new questions so I'd like you guys to help me. Keep in mind that you shall only give me suggestions for the QUESTIONS, not the ANSWERS. So, for example...**

**Pen Name/ Username: InLoveWithFairyTail**

**Question: Do you like my fashion style? **

**The format should be like that. Don't give me the answers because I like to come up with those myself! Thank you in advance! (Oh, and I shall also give you credit for the questions you suggest just like I gave credit for me ga mawaru on questions 23, 23, and 24!)**

**Until next chapter! Bye!**


	4. Chapter 4: 31-40

**It's been a long time since I updated this one, huh? While I was lazing about trying to get some inspiration for some new jokes...I got a ton of question suggestions from you guys! thanks so much! Every one of you who suggested quesitons for me, thank you! I'm sorry if I didn't use yours, but still...thank you!**

**And now on to the story...because that's the part you're waiting for...not the author's note...**

**Disclaimer: I Do not Own Fairy Tail!**

**Note: Oh, and please remember that I may have made them just a bit - or a lot - OOC just to bring a little more...liveliness into this whole thing, yeah? If this were to be Hiro Mashima's version, Laxus would have destroyed everything in his rage, Sting wouldn't like soap operas and would have lost his temper (Lector would have burst everyone's eardrums claiming that Sting is THE BEST), Rogue would have remained neutral and would probably not have talked during this whole thing, and Gajeel would have entered a rage and gotten into a fight with Natsu - which Gray would have joined...and Lucy would have beaten them all up because of the insults thrown at her...**

**But other than that...thanks for all your support! :D**

* * *

**31. Your best friend calls you over while you're on a date with me. What will you do? (question **submitted by** 13lackKitty)**

Natsu: That depends. What are we doing on the date? Because if we're eating…I'd be like, "F*** you, man! I'm in the middle of a feast! Muahaha!"

Gray: For once, can't you think about something other than food?

Natsu: Sure I do. Right now, I'm planning how to sneak into Lucy's apartment without her noticing.

Happy: Make sure to add in the part where we raid her refrigerator! I bet she has ton of fish!

Natsu: Aye sir!

Gray: … *joins in with them in making the plans*

Gajeel: Who is her best friend anyways?

Laxus: Wasn't it, Natsu?

Loke: I thought so.

Sting: I thought so, too.

Rogue: Me, too.

Natsu: *is silent for a moment*

Natsu: Do you know what this means?!

Everyone: What?

Natsu: Lucy will be calling me while I'm on a date with her!

Gray: You idiot! Why would she call you when she'll be sitting right next to you?!

Natsu: Oh, yeah, huh? Then do you know what this means?!

Gray: This is gonna be something even stupider-

Natsu: FUTURE Lucy will be calling me!

Gray: ...

Everyone Else: …

Loke: So…next question?

Happy: Aye, sir. I've got to admit…that was stupid even for Natsu.

Laxus: I always thought there a grain of intelligence under all that stupid…how heartbroken I am to have to admit that I was wrong…

Natsu: HEY!

**32. How would you comfort me if I'm sad? (question **submitted by** XxBatteredHeartxX)**

Natsu: WHAT THE F***?! I AM NOT JUST GOING TO LET THE FACT THAT YOU ALL INSULTED ME SLIP BY!

Gray: Is that your final answer?

Natsu: Of course not! Um…I'd give her a barrel of candy, because Lucy always eats candy.

Gajeel: Way to pull bunny-girl in. Does that mean she's fat?

Loke: How DARE you insult my Lucy-wucey like that!?

Natsu: Lucy-wucey? What a dumbass nickname.

Laxus: I don't comfort people. End of story.

Happy: I don't think you should give her that, Natsu. Because if you do, the next time I carry Lucy, my arms might rip off.

Gajeel: Lucy's going to kill you.

Happy: I'm just living for the moment.

Rogue: Sting would be sad along with you…because the situation would remind him of that one scene in that one soap opera where the guy comforts his lover…and-

Sting: You know…I've been thinking…if you don't watch dramas…how come you know so much about the scenes and names in them?

Rogue: …

Sting: You watch them, too!

Rogue: No, I don't! I only do manly things that are manly!

Elfman: Did someone just mention me?

Everyone: NO!

Natsu: Why are you even here, Elfman?

Elfman: Well, I heard this was a manly survey for the men of Fairy Tail and it was a test of manliness, and I am the manliest man there ever was in a manly guild like the manly Fairy Tail, so I thought – in a manly sort of way – why wasn't the manly me who is a man invited? So I – like a manly man – I came here like a man.

Natsu: ….

Natsu: Okay…did anyone even get any of that?

**33. Why are you taking this survey? (question **submitted by** puckingrainbows)**

Natsu: Because you grabbed me by my scarf and dragged me here half-choking…

Gray: Because you threatened me by saying that you would tell Juvia where I lived if I didn't come…

Juvia: YOU KNOW WHERE GRAY-SAMA LIVES, LUCY-SAN?! WHY DID YOU NOT TELL JUVIA!? TELL ME GRAY-SAMA! TELL ME! NEVER MIND…I'LL FIND OUT ON MY OWN… *starts staring at Gray*

Gray: Oh, fu-!

Gajeel: Because you told me you would get rid of all the iron in my snack stash if I didn't come…

Loke: I came here on my own free will.

Natsu: *squeezes Loke's mouth shut* There, everyone…continue…

Laxus: She told me that she'd set Erza on us if we didn't come…

Natsu: What the f***?! Seriously! Oh, sh*t!

Gray: Crap! Don't tell me she's already told that Monster Lady all of our insults – ah, I mean…REPLIES?

Loke: I mean…technically…I'm all right, right? Just to be on the safe side…take Gray first! He called her a Monster Lady.

Gajeel: NOOO! We're all goners! We're all going to die at the hands of Titania! I'm too young! Too cool! Everyone will miss the singing sensation, Gajeel Redfox!

Natsu: Riiight…singing…sensation…*mutters under breath* More like singing sh*t…ation…

Gray: Uh…what?

Natsu: The insult sounded better in my head.

Gray: That makes sense. Stupid things probably sound better in there…

Laxus: Correction…everyone will miss the music star Laxus Dreyar!

Sting: I CAN'T DIE! I MEAN-!

Rogue: I know what you mean…there's that one soap opera tonight that you can't NOT finish…right?

Sting: You know…I should tell Minerva that you really liked that one dinner you made for us…I'm sure she would LOVE for you to come over again.

Rogue: Crap.

**34. If we ever had kids, what would they look like? (question **submitted by** lokirox15 a.k.a. TealKandyKitty15)**

Natsu: Pure…awesome.

Gray: More like pure stupid.

Natsu: Oh…so that's how you want to play it, huh, Ice Princess?! Your kids would look like strippers because you're a stripper!

Gray: That's the lamest comeback I've ever heard!

Natsu: YOU'RE the lamest comeback I've ever heard!

Gray: Now you're just letting random sh*t spew from your stupid mouth!

Natsu: No, YOU are!

*the two proceed to throw stupid – Natsu: HEY! - insults back and forth as the survey continues*

Gajeel: They'd be the most good-looking people out there…and they'd be great singers. I'd show them the secret Redfox Technique for the perfect singing voice…

Loke: *snorts* I suppose the secret is to say 'shoo-be-doo-ba' at the start of the song?

Gajeel: HOW'D YOU KNOW?! HOW'D YOU KNOW?!

Everyone: *sweatdrops* SERIOUSLY?

Laxus: Anyways…Gajeel is wrong…because MY kids would the most awesome, sexiest, most powerful kids out there! HAHAHAHAHA!

Natsu: Why is it that Laxus's answer sounds like some evil master plan to take over the world?

Sting: They'd look…blonde…and like…kids?

Rogue: No, sh*t, Sherlock.

Sting: Sherlock?! I'm not a detective! I'm a Dragon Slayer!

Rogue: It was a figure of speech.

Sting: Oh yeah?! Well…YOU'RE a figure of speech.

Rogue: *stares at his partner for five minutes in complete silence with a neutral expression on his face* Never mind.

**35. If I came home from a mission gone wrong how would you cheer me up? (question **submitted by **GeminiMab)**

Natsu: Don't worry, Luce….it's okay…do you want me to beat the living sh*t out of the guy who did this to you? I mean…seriously…do you want me to dent his f***ing face in?

Everyone: …

Gray: It was…kind of scary how calmly you were able to say that.

Natsu: If Igneel were here…he'd eat the guy who did that to Luce.

Gray: *clears throat* Anyways…I would offer to freeze his ass off.

Natsu: There he goes again…again with the asses…knock it off, Gray! Stop bringing your obsession to every normal conversation, would you!?

Gray: Natsu...let ME dent YOUR f***ing face in…

Natsu: Now, you're obsessed with faces…which body part is next, huh, Gray?

Gajeel: I would cheer you up by performing one of my favorite songs-

Natsu: One of your favorites? But the songs you sing all sound the same. Crappy.

Gajeel: SAL – A – MAN *Elfman's ears perk up* - DER! *Elfman slouches as he is disappointed* YOU ARE IN FOR IT!

Laxus: Cheer up. Stop moping around.

Loke: *claps his hands* That was actually good!

Laxus: It pisses me off when people are sad. So stop whining your ass off and go get another mission to do us all a favor.

Loke: …Hmm…

Sting: I don't know…how do you cheer up a sad girl?

Rogue: According to research performed by the best men…they don't know.

**36. If we got a pet, what would it be? (question **submitted by** SerastheReaper)**

Natsu: Don't you already have the little snowman…thingy?

Gray: You mean that...white…round thing with the…pointy…unicorn horn-nose?

Natsu: Yeah, yeah…that thing!

Gajeel: That thing f***ing gives me the creeps.

Loke: Are you guys talking about Plue? Lucy's Nikora?

Sting: That thing that shakes and shivers all over the place?! Is it okay? I've been meaning to ask somebody all this time.

Loke: Yeah…yeah…Plue's alright…he just shivers a lot is all.

Laxus: Are you sure it's supposed to be like that? I mean…what if it's sick?

Rogue: To be honest, that thing kind of scares me.

Loke: I think Plue's kinda cute…

Rogue: In a scary way?

Loke: No…

Natsu: The first time Lucy summoned him…I thought she messed up or something.

Happy: Aye, sir! And this has somehow transformed from a dating survey to a discussion about Plue's health…

Plue: Pun…puuun! *shivers and shakes*

*Rogue and Gajeel scream*

(A/N: I don't know…this one was kind of random… :D I actually think Plue is the most adorable thing ever…you know…right alongside with Happy, kid Natsu, kid Erza, kid Gray, and kid Lucy)

**37. Do you think I'm weak? (question **submitted by** puckingrainbows, SerastheReaper)**

Natsu: No! Why? Did someone call you weak? Who are they? *gets all serious and scary* Want me to beat them up for you? *cracks his knuckles* I'm all fired up.

Gray: Let's submerge his face into a tank of ice water!

Gajeel: Hit his face with a thousand pounds of iron!

Laxus: Strike him down with lightning!

Loke: Give him a starry punch from Regulus!

Sting: Strike him down with some good ole Dragon's Roar!

Rogue: Beat him up to a bloody, bloody pulp until he admits that this Lucy is strong!

Everyone: YEAH!

Erza: I have taken care of it. It was that silver-haired guy in front of the bookstore, right?! HE WAS THE ONE WHO CALLED YOU WEAK RIGHT! BECAUSE I HAVE MADE SURE THAT HE WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER-!

Mira: *smiles innocently* I also took care of it, Lucy…

**Lucy: Wait, WHAT?! These questions are PURELY hypothetical! What did you DO to the poor guy?!**

Erza: Crap.

Natsu: ERZA'S GETTING ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT!

Mira: Hmph. It was only a joke, Lucy. Where's your sense of humor?

*Everyone sweatdrops*

Elfman: Nee-chan's sense of humor is twisted.

Erza: Wait…Mira…that was a JOKE?! Why didn't you tell me?!

Mira: Oh dear…

Makarov: WHO THE HELL BEAT UP THE MAGNOLIA CITIZEN BECAUSE I SWEAR I WILL HAVE YOU ASS WHOOPED!

Natsu: ERZA, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!

Erza: Relax…it was only a joke.

Makarov: Geez…do you guys not know what STAND-UP comedy is?!

**Lucy: I swear…everyone here is f***ing weird. Everyone.**

Makarov: Well, since everyone's here…might as well, stay…

(A/N: Lucy will only talk at times like those…not all the time…I won't have her talk even when the boys are insulting her…because…yeah…I just don't want to…I have an idea what's going to happen after this survey is done…and to have her freak out during those times would ruin it…)

**38. What is your favorite feature of my body? (question **submitted by **Cookie-Chan91, puckingrainbows, COOKIES)**

*Gray, Gajeel, Laxus, and the Master smile creepily*

Erza: *dark aura is emanating from her* Say it. I dare you to say it. Because I will twist you into a pretzel…I don't give a f*** if it's physically impossible…because I'll MAKE it possible…

Mira: Ohohohoho…I dare you too…your face won't quite look the same afterwards….

Natsu: What? What were they going to say?

Sting: I want to know, too.

Rogue: Are you both stupid or what?

Loke: You are all gross. How can you be so caught up in the physical things?

Natsu: WHAT are you guys TALKING about?!

Elfman: They're talking about… *makes a curved gesture from the top of his chest to just the bottom of it*

Natsu: OHHHH, you mean her- *stops when he sees Erza's murderous glare* Ahahaha! I get what you mean! Those things are HUGE! Who could miss it?! They're like mountains!

Sting: Ahahaha! I know right?! Ahahaha!

Erza: *right eye twitches* You two…*kicks them high into the sky*

Happy: Bye, bye Natsu!

Natsu: CATCH ME HAPPY!

Happy: I would…but Mira's holding onto my tail…

**39. Are you manly enough to be with me?**

Natsu (who is now bruised from his hard landing): Crap, Lu-

Elfman: OF COURSE!

Gray: You're not even taking this survey!

Elfman: Only the manliest of men get to answer this manly question, so you stay out of this, GRAY!

Gray: Hey! Are you saying I'm not manly enough to ANSWER!?

Elfman: Of course not…the manly me is saying – in a very manly fashion – that you are a man but not the men of men so you can't understand the manly concept of this manly question directed for the men of men, so therefore, in the manly conclusion, you cannot, man, answer this manly question in a manly enough way for it to be manly.

Natsu: What…the…f***?

Laxus: From that speech, I got the concept of 'manly' and 'man' and 'men'. Anyone care to explain the rest to me?

Gray: What the hell was that?

Loke: I think he's trying to say something about men.

Sting: Well, obviously, but…should we ask him to repeat that?

Rogue: I don't think I can take hearing that once more…

Elfman: MAN!

Ichiya: MEN!

Rogue: Great, not one, but now, TWO freaks.

Natsu: Does anyone have any flames I can eat?

Gray: I can't find my pants.

Gajeel: Has anyone seen the car muffler I was eating?

Laxus: Do you think I'm…'electrifying'? Ha! Get it?! Get it?! Because I'm the Lightning Dragon Slayer?!

Loke: Are my glasses crooked? Is my hair fine? Do I look cool still? Should I flirt with Lucy while everyone's distracted?

Sting: Ah, sh*t! I think I missed the drama at two…

Rogue: Who am I kidding? We were a freak convention from the start…

**40. What do you think of my name?**

Natsu: Luigi? I don't know….sounds very…Italian…like you'd spend your life making pizzas as you gaze out your window at the Leaning Tower of Pisa…

Everyone: What the f***?

Gray: You f***ing idiot! You've been calling her Lucy all this time!

Natsu: Have I?

Happy: Aye, sir! But Luigi sounds…so much more…'Luigi-like'…

Gajeel: No sh*t!

Laxus: Your name is awesome. I mean…both our names start with L…I swear…L is the most awesome letter in the alphabet…you know…along with A, X, U, S, D, R, E,Y, and R.

Loke: Your name is more beautiful than the first flower in Spring, Lucy, my love…

Natsu: Here we go again…you know, I was beginning to think Loke was getting a lot more bearable…and now…he's just ruined everything…

Sting: Sure, Lucy's a cool name. But man, have you heard of the name Sting? I mean…pfft…whoever has that name is the very definition of awesome…

Rogue: Except there's one exception…

Sting: HEY!

Rogue: I didn't say who the exception was, did I?

Sting: …

Sting: Oh, Minerva…?

Rogue: ….

Rogue: Well played.

* * *

**Finished with Chapter Four! I admit...the last few ones where I answered were totally lame (the questions were pure awesome, but my answers were lame...) I think Sting and Rogue were the most OOC ones in this chapter...then again, Sting's been OOC ever since it was discovered that he loves soap operas...I should add in Lector, yeah? Though...how I shall fit him in...is a puzzle...**

**On a side note, did you guys know that there's a book called Everything Men Know About Women with 128 blank pages? Ahaha! That's why I made Rogue say, "According to research performed by best men...they don't know." **

**Well...I'm awaiting some new suggestions for questions...because even though the last two are my ideas, I'm fresh out again...Again, if I don't use your question...it's not that the question is the problem...it's that I lack the imagination to answer the question...I should try to get some more imagination...**

**This has been a long author's note...**

**Please review!**

**Until next chapter!**


	5. Chapter 5: 41-50

**Thanks for all the Question Suggestions! You people are amazing! I'm sorry if I haven't used any! But keep submitting and your question might be chosen! Also, the questions that doesn't have the little message of 'Question sbmitted by...' are the ones I have come up with...in this case, in this chapter, number 41 is mine...**

**Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail**

**Note: Characters are OOC for reasons within the story. Lucy will comment here and there but not all the time. Questions may or may not get answered directly. Characters may sometimes comment on another person's answer or add in a random comment our of nowhere.**

* * *

**41. Would you act in my favorite play for me as an anniversary surprise? **

Natsu: Why-

Erza: Did I just hear someone say…ACTING?

Gray: What the f***?! Erza?!

Erza: *looks towards a spotlight that has appeared from nowhere. Tears are in her eyes* My whole life…I have aspired to become a famous actress who will walk the stage of that one famous place that all actors go to.

Laxus: Do you mean…do you mean Fairy Tail's stage?

Erza: *is sobbing and she falls down to her knees* ROMEO! ROMEO! WHERE ART THOU?!

Romeo (Macao's son): Right…here?

Erza: Why did you kill yourself?!

Romeo: Wait…what?

Erza: Why did you drink the POISON!?

Romeo: I didn't drink anything! Or did you find out about that time Cana-nee tricked me into drinking alcohol?

Gajeel: Really?! Wait until your old man hears!

Loke: Shut up everyone! I'm trying to answer Lucy's quest-! *Erza punches him for trying to interrupt her performance*

Sting: This is why I don't want to join Fairy Tail.

Rogue: Right up there with you.

Erza: I'LL KILL MYSELF AS WELL, ROMEO!

Romeo: Erza-nee's gone suicidal because of me!

Natsu: Erza's gonna beat herself up!

Gray: What?! Really?! I wanna see this!

Romeo: You…you guys!

**42. Would you do anything for me? (Question submitted by Ikutolovesme)**

Natsu: Isn't this survey enough?!

Gray: WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM US?!

Gajeel: Answering these questions…should be enough favors to last a lifetime!

Laxus: Two f***ing lifetimes!

Sting: More than that! A dragon's lifetime plus four hundred human ones!

Rogue: *flatly, without emotion* More than that.

Erza: WHERE IS THE SPARK?! THE DRAMA! THAT'S NOT ACTING! THAT'S TALKING!

Loke: Erza! This isn't a play!

Erza: *glares at him* Life is a stage…is what I think Shakespeare says, I can't remember that quote right now. But when I do…you're going to feel REAL foolish…

*Everyone sweatdrops*

**43. What would you say if I was having a bad hair day? (question submitted by KatChanIsCool)**

Natsu: I would say…'Your hair is pretty f***ed up.'

Gray: Wow.

Gajeel: Well said! *is in tears* Well said!

Laxus: Two words. Bad hair, stay away from me.

Loke: Laxus…that's not two words…that's WAY more than two.

Laxus: If I SAY it's two, then it's TWO….

Rogue: There's…there's a little something in your hair…

Sting: I think something died in your hair last night when you went to sleep. A cat?

Happy: LUCY'S GONNA MURDER ME AND WEAR ME AS A HAIRCLIP?!

Natsu: WHAT?! Why Lucy?! WHY?! Take Lector or Fro! But not the blue one! Not the blue one!

Lector: What the hell?! If anyone's gonna be murdered, I think it should be Natsu-san! He's the one who insulted you most, blondie!

Frosch: Fro thinks so too.

Gray: I agree.

Laxus: With you all the way.

Sting: I'm sorry, Natsu-san, but Lector's my favorite best friend.

Rogue: I don't know you that well.

Gajeel: No competition for me anymore if there's no Salamander.

Loke: He kept punching me during this survey.

Natsu: Why are you guys all voting on getting me killed by Lucy?!

Happy: Here you go, Lucy. He ate my fish!

Natsu: WHAT THE HELL?! I STUCK UP FOR YOU, DAMN CAT!

**44. Can you tell me in a few seconds what a brick is useful for? (Question submitted by Puckingrainbows)**

Everyone except Natsu: Killing Natsu Dragneel.

Natsu: What the-?!

** Lucy: *mutters under her breath* Or all of you.**

**45. Would you do a duet with me at Karaoke? (Question submitted by Otaku2k0)**

Natsu: What's…what's…curry okey?"

Gray: I think it's a type of food with rice.

Gajeel: No! Karaoke…is the most beautiful thing in the entire world!

Laxus: Yes!

*Gajeel and Laxus both grab microphones from nowhere, and dance together in sync*

Gajeel and Laxus (singing): From the first glance when we met each otherrrr….lal lalala! Shoo-be-doo-baaaaa!

Natsu: Ohhh…so Karaoke is like…the synonym for sh*tty singing?

Gray: Apparently so.

Sting: I think it's entertaining…in a funny, crappy sort of way.

Rogue: I agree.

Happy: I'm just here for the fish.

Natsu: There is no fish.

Happy: Really? Then why am I here listening to this crap when I could be fishing?!

Loke: I would sing any song you wish Lucy.

Natsu: How is it that you always manage to squeeze an answer in there…around all this chaos?

Loke: I am cool like that.

Happy: Aw, a reason why I'm here now! Loke's starting up a comedy show everyone!

Loke: DAMN CAT!

**46. How many times have I kicked you for coming to my house? (Question submitted by Indy)**

Natsu: I stopped counting after…uh…one…

Gray: That's impressive, especially since I didn't know you knew the number one.

Natsu: WANNA SAY THAT AGAIN, ICE FREAK?!  
Gray: YEAH!

Natsu: THEN SAY IT!

Gray: I WILL!

Natsu: THEN PLEASE DO SO!

Gray: THANK YOU! I WILL!

Gajeel: What the f***? What is this? A polite way of fighting?

Happy: Wahaha! I bet that the stupid one with pink hair is going to win!

Natsu: Stupid?! And it's SALMON!

Gray: You think I'm gonna lose?!

Laxus: You won't ever be able to kick me out of anywhere.

Loke: I beg to differ.

Sting: I mean…haven't you been kicked out of Fairy Tail?

Rogue: Yeah, but then he joined again.

Sting: Shut up with you details!

Laxus: Shut it. You're upsetting my…fangirls…*turns to the 'camera' and winks*

**47. If you wrote a song about me, what would you call it? (Question submitted by Cookie-chan91)**

Natsu: …um…I'd call it… 'The Song I Wrote About Lucy…By Me…Natsu Dragneel…The Writer of the Song.'

Gray: Are you sure that your pea-sized brain would even allow you to write a song? And that's the dumbest title I've ever heard…which suits you since you are most definitely a DUMBASS!

Natsu: Oh yeah?! Your song's title would be "Stripping in the Rain", you freaking Stripper!

Gray: I can't help it! It's a health condition!

Gajeel: I really don't think so.

Gray: No one asked for your opinion!

Gajeel: Gajeel doesn't give his opinions when they are requested; he gives them when he FEELS LIKE IT!

*The three of them start a useless bicker*

Laxus: That Blonde Chick Who Took Me In For a Survey…*smiles adoringly* And while we're at it, ladies, why not buy my other soundtracks such as, "I'm Awesome", "You Know That Guy Laxus? Yeah, He's Hot", and "Shockingly Blonde, A Laxus Dreyar CD".

Loke: I've listened to all of those, and let me tell you…*smiles at camera as his teeth shine* ladies…you won't be able to understand sh*t. Instead, buy, "Celestial Love, a Loke Celeste CD".

Hibiki: Please. I think…*smiles as he holds up his soundtrack album* that every girl out there would rather listen to… "Knowledge is Power, a Hibiki Lates CD".

Loke: Shut up! You stay out of this!

Hibiki: You're just jealous because you know the girls love me more than you.

Loke: THEY DO NOT! NOT MY LUCY!

Hibiki: I DISAGREE!

*They also start a pointless – Both: HEY! - argument*

(A/N: Thanks to puckingrainbows for the 'adding in Hibiki' idea!)

Sting: I visualize my song being called… That One Girl From Fairy Tail Who Didn't Let me Have a Choice in Coming To This Interrogation'…

Rogue: I'd call mine, 'The Day I Found Out My Friend Sting Eucliffe Likes Soap Operas and My Thoughts on Attending a Freak Convention'

Everyone Else: HEY!

Rogue: *starts singing the first few lines of his new 'song'*

**48. What opinion do you think I had of you before we started this survey? (Question submitted by Elsmul)**

Everyone (at the same time): I'm awesome and powerful.

*They all look at each other, and raise their fists as if to fight*

**Lucy: All right, next question, next question!**

**49. What's your idea of a perfect date? (Question submitted by SerastheReaper)**

Natsu: Lots and lots of food.

Gray: Lots and lots of ice cream and snow cones.

Gajeel: Lots and lots of nails, screws, and bolts.

Laxus: Lots and lots of compliments for me.

Loke: Lots and lots of love.

Sting: Lector comes along.

Rogue: Fro comes along.

(A/N: Loke really is the only one with the desired answer.)

**50. If we went out for dinner, would you pay or would I? (Question submitted by RosettaIvory)**

Natsu: I'd pay, because Lucy…you need to pay for your apartment remember? *smiles that famous smile*

(A/N: This idea for Natsu answering seriously and showing off his trademark smile was suggested to me by Chubster9021 – it wasn't a lot to ask, don't worry about it!)

Everyone Else: I'm way too shocked to answer…

* * *

**There you go! And as you can see, if you suggest me to add in a person, as puckingrainbows did with Hibiki, I will try my best to add them in for at least one or two questions, but the main people here will always be the seven in the summary! **

**Please keep suggesting questions! And yours might get included! If I don't use yours, I'm sorry! All questions are super great! It's just that I only use the ones where I begin to form ideas for the boys' answers! The fault is no one's! (Except mine's probably...)**

**Please review!**

**Until next chapter!**


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